Those who believe, seeing or not, have “life in His Name”
Here he is, feeling so useless – despite having seen Jesus alive, and despite having experienced something of the presence of the Spirit in his life – that he goes back to the fishing. If there ever was an admission of defeat it was this. Or maybe Peter was just bored; always the man of action, unsure about the future, uncomfortable with the new, unpredictable situation where Jesus was seen then disappeared again... he is struggling to come to terms with it all.... so he goes fishing.
The point is not that Jesus is asking Peter a less demanding question each time as though to make him realise he's not really a very good friend to Jesus.
I love the way Jesus takes the initiative in relationship with his disciples in these passages. Thomas had missed out on the Easter Sunday evening encounter. And when he met up with the rest of the disciples, and heard their breathless reports of having met Jesus, he had said “Unless I see him – hands with nail prints, mind you – I will not believe.” He wasn't being fooled by any smoke and mirrors tricks or carried along by their enthusiasm to make believe what he didn't really believe...
But he was still there. Despite his having missed out on seeing Jesus, despite his cynicism about the experience the rest of them were so excited about, something kept him coming back. Thomas was still hanging with the disciples. And, as far as I can see, he was still welcome. There was already a dynamic at work among the eleven... they may each be carrying their own particular burden of shame, embarrassment, guilt, doubt and confusion. But they were still friends. It was still the most natural thing in the world, to hang around together. Yes, he may have said some pretty blood-curdling things about sticking his fingers in the nail prints; but he was still welcomed and understood. “Such vigour of disbelief plainly represents a strong urge to believe, held down by common sense and its habitual dread of disillusionment.” says Wm. Temple. Understanding the pain underlying his unbelief the rest of them were still there for Thomas.
And Jesus is there for Thomas. And what does Jesus do? He takes the initiative. Bruce Milne points out that ”this further appearance would seem to be essentially for his benefit.” He's as it were knocking on Thomas' door. We call him “Doubting Thomas.” Jesus calls him “Unbelieving Thomas.” But despite the things Thomas had said, Jesus is there for him, reaching out to him, taking the initiative to clear away the embarrassment and rebuild the relationship.
There may be people – there will be people – whose experience isn't the same as ours. People who wish they had our faith, but right now, they haven’t. People who don't understand the confidence and intensity of our faith. But they still keep hanging around. They still want to meet up. They are still our friends. And we are still their friends. What matters more? Agreeing about all the details of faith? Or walking together, even if we don't always agree? We need to learn to build relationships with people, and to stay in those relationships, even if people don't walk a smooth and straight path towards Christian faith. And we need to recognise that if people struggle along that path, they may still be on the journey and to rejoice that they still want to walk with us. Relationships are a vital component in reaching out to people on the journey to faith.
And as we reach out to people, we recognise, too, that Jesus reaches out. He takes the initiative. Indeed, however outraged the other disciples were, however embarrassed Thomas may have been when Jesus actually turned up, that Jesus took the initiative. He came, with Thomas in the room this time. And he approached directly, the precise issue Thomas had. No skirting round things. No length conversation about everything else, ending with Thomas saying, “Phew! He never mentioned what I said...” No criticism or recriminations. Just an invitation to do what he said he needed to do: “Put your finger here, Thomas.. Don't become an unbeliever but a believer.” What are we becoming?
To say “My Lord and my God” was a provocative, missionary statement in a world where it was thought that “Caesar is Lord” So Thomas moves on, to become a believer, with the rest of the apostles in the mission to the Jews and by reliable tradition going to India with the Gospel.
Peter, had gone through that horrible experience, of trying to prove he was better than the rest of the disciples – then failing completely to stand up for Jesus in the moment of trial. Confused, exhausted, needing to relax, to think, and if the truth be told, needing to eat, Peter goes fishing and takes six of the disciples with him. As the sun rises, and Peter is admitting a wasted night's work, and rowing for the shore line, he sees a stranger making a fire on the beach, barbecuing some fish and baking bread. The Stranger shouts out to Peter, “Caught anything?” “No!” “Have another go; throw your nets over the right side of the boat” and they catch a big load of fish. And the penny drops: the stranger is Jesus! Embarrassing for Peter: it seems the Carpenter knows best how to catch fish. But it's not about Jesus knowing best. It's about walking together, relationships.
What has Jesus been doing? Making a fire, cooking fish, and he adds one or two of Peter's catch to the breakfast. A shared meal is a great relationship builder. Jesus recognises the importance of relationship-building times, when we waste time with each other – eating together, talking together. But there is also a sense of “Holy wonder” at this breakfast shared together with the risen Jesus. “The sharing of the meal is the unveiling of his presence”. (Newbigin)
But, just as Thomas had said things he felt embarrassed about, Peter was feeling embarrassed too, about his bragging, his denials. William Temple suggests “There was a self-will at the heart of his loyalty” that led to his failure. And Jesus knew, Teeter needed to face up to his mistakes and be healed of the scars... Three times, Peter had claimed hi didn't have anything to do with Jesus. So after breakfast, Jesus and Peter went for a stroll along the beach... Three times, Jesus called Peter “Simon”. (Peter knew he'd not been much of a “Rock”; he'd slipped back to being just “Simon”, but Jesus accepted him as just “Simon”) Three times Jesus asked him “Do you love me more than the others do? Do you love me?” Forget what preachers have told you about the Greek using two different words for love here – Jesus spoke Aramaic not Greek! The two Greek words are simply John's rich use of language. The point is that, just as Peter has denied Jesus three times, he has three opportunities to restate his love for Jesus. Jesus is indeed taking Peter back to his denials, but not to humiliate him or expose his weakness. If anyone felt a sense of conviction of sin it was Peter. What Jesus was doing is taking Peter back to “undo” his denials, by three times stating clearly and out loud that he really does love Jesus. And three times, Jesus told Peter that he is called to feed his flock. One day, Jesus says, this big weakling will have the strength to go to a cross for Jesus. Like Thomas, Peter is “turned around” - converted Jesus says, and set up for his place in God's mission.
There may be times when we need to revisit the past, with Jesus – and maybe with someone we can trust to walk there with us – and to speak out truth in place of the lies that the past speaks to us. If you have been hurt by events in the past, that tell you you are rubbish, stupid, unlovely, wicked, doomed to fail, you need to hear truth spoken more loudly than these lies. You are a son of God, made in his image. He has called you and chosen you; nothing can separate you from his love. If you have done things in the past that accuse you today, and question whether you can ever be forgiven, you need to hear the truth speaking more loudly than the lies of accusation. There is no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus.
Resurrection relationships then
- Involve broken people...and we're all broken
- Balance challenge and affirmation...
- Are built up through the ordinary things like fishing trips, meals, and walks on the beach
- And have the potential to bring healing.
And this talk about Peter's death prompted a question. Peter caught sight of John, and asked, “What about him?” Jesus answered “Never mind if he lives until I come back, Peter. You follow me.” It's amazing how quickly we get to comparing our lives, our call, our blessings, with others. And it's amazing how quickly we take the words of Jesus and misuse them. John was embarrassed about the rumour going around that he was going to live until Jesus came back (which was not what Jesus said! It just goes to show the danger of trying to figure out when Jesus is coming back!) And John, finishes the story by drawing inattention for a brief moment, to himself: “That was me. I was there too...” Resurrection relationships are meant to continue today, to draw attention to this amazing Jesus, not a concept but a person. Our relationships with each other, with the world, with Jesus, are meant to lead to eyewitness accounts... I was there too.
Resurrection relationships are still happening. John's “I was there!” is an invitation to everyone who reads his story, to get to know this Jesus whom all the books in the world could not describe.
© Gilmour Lilly April 2012
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