Stick your hand up if you think you're really good at "prayer." I have a sneaky feeling most of us have to admit we're not... And can we expect that there will be certain people who will be better than others at this? Am I any better than you? But how do you define "good at prayer"? Is it about being good with words, so that you can put it right? Well, I don't think God is going to be impressed with the way we put the words together. So is it about being organised so you remember to pray for all the people you promised to pray for?
I am not bothered about the external disciplines of prayer. When or where we pray or how often to pray: whether to pray first thing in the morning or three times a day. I am not too excited either about the structure of our prayers - whether we use set prayers like the Lord's Prayer; or whether we use a pattern like ACTS - Adoring God, Confessing our sins, Thanking God and Stating our need.
These are not disciplines. They are patterns and they may help. The real disciplines are inside us, though. Of course you won't have the inner disciplines if you don't make it a regular part of your life to pray. But it's the inner things that stretch us and make us grow. In response to this request for teaching on "how to pray" Jesus calls those who follow him to the inner disciplines of prayer. There are two:-
Special relationship - "Father"
What makes prayer difficult? Maybe it's the feeling that there is a special skill you need. Maybe it is concentration. Maybe it is the kind of sense of strangeness about it. Suddenly you have to sit down and talk to someone you can't see. If you are by nature an introvert when you have been introduced to someone new you may not have a lot to say. How do you start a conversation with God?
It is right that we should feel a certain sense of "strangeness" at this business of prayer. We are after all being invited to enter an unfamiliar environment when we pray. We are communicating with a being who is totally "other" - who lives outside and beyond the goldfish bowl of our physical world. We are getting in touch with a different kind of reality when we pray. We are getting in touch with God. We are talking to the person whose words called the universe into existence. That's the discipline of prayer. It is the discipline - first of all the mental discipline - to realise what it is we are doing.
This God, what is he like? He's powerful. He has the resources to do what we need him to do. And he's pure. He is holy. He isn't just a fallible being who makes mistakes... he is sinless and good. He is personal. We are not pushing buttons on a celestial chocolate machine. When I was at College in London in the seventies (long time ago) I had hair; I had placements and preaching assignments in London Churches and travelled a lot by tube; and I could eat chocolate and was very partial to Cadbury's fruit and nut. There were these chocolate machines on tube platforms. You put in 10p, pulled the drawer of your choice and if you were lucky got your Fruit and nut bar (though I all too often lost my 10p. Getting your chocolate was random and impersonal. There was nobody to shout at on King's Cross Victoria line platform at 9pm on a Sunday. God is personal. This isn't religion; it's a relationship.
The teaching Jesus gives emphasises this relationship: Jesus disciples want to know how to pray: "John taught his disciples. Give us our pattern for prayer, Jesus." The new and distinctive thing about Christian prayer was the new, simple and intimate form of address, "Father" which is actually "abba" - "Daddy" that Jesus gives his disciples. The shorter version of the Lord's Prayer emphasise four key things to pray about and they are all rooted in relationship...
1. Longing for the action of God in setting up his Kingdom. Hallowed be is passive which suggests a seeking for the action of God so that men will revere him. Kingdom suggests the blessings that come when men acknowledge God as King.
2. Dependency on God as Father for daily needs. Keep giving us our daily food.
3. Reconciliation to God and fellow men.
4. Need for power to preserve in temptation. "Cause us not to succumb to temptation". It's no good asking to have no temptation. And there is no shame to experience temptation. We do ask for the power not to give in.
Jesus then speaks very directly (in the words "which of you") to two specifc groups: friends (v. 5) and fathers (v. 11). So the first discipline of prayer is this inner discipline of pressing in, beyond the natural world, beyond sight, beyond the parameters of what we already have experienced, to develop this relationship with God Himself. The outer structures of having a set time, of silence of reflecting on the Word, and so forth, are simply ways of giving time to develop the relationship, just as we need time to develop all our relationships. It is out of that relationship, out of intimacy with our heavenly Father, that the next bit flows...
Shameless request - "Faith"
In this very direct little parable of the "Friend at midnight" Jesus makes a contrast between the "Friend's" character and God's character. In that situation, "Which of you..." implies that "Nobody can imagine a friend refusing an inconvenient request." People can picture the situation. It could happen like that in the ancient world of Palestine where people would often start a journey late in the afternoon and journey on until well after dark. When they arrived at a village, no matter how late, they would call on a friend or relative. And the relative would feel he had to give food and lodgings. If he couldn't he would get a neighbour to help out. That sort of help was what was expected of friends...
The difficulty that the parable addresses is a real and practical one: "men wonder whether it is worth praying to God because they do not get their prayers answered." Is God too busy? Are our prayers too insignificant? In the Jim Carrey film Bruce Almighty, Bruce sets up his PC to deal with all incoming prayers like emails; otherwise he would be overwhelmed. Is answering our prayers hugely inconvenient to God, like the friend who has already settled down for the night and is cross to be wakened? Is my request just too outrageous?
The shameless nature of the one in need, asking for what he needs, is a model for us in our approach to God. We are encouraged, invited to come, and to ask, shamelessly. We are encouraged to express that shameless request, over and over until answers come, not because God needs to be persuaded, but to "Go on praying because God responds graciously to the needs of His children."
Ask, Seek, Knock, (verse 9-10) are three different pictures of prayer. Verse 9 means, "You have to ask for God to give; you have to seek in order to find; you have to knock to get the door opened." There is one way of guaranteeing, with rock solid predictable certainty, results in this business of prayer. If you don't pray, god won't answer. If you want life totally predictable, then don't pray. God expects us to ask, seek, and knock. And Verse10 is about God's willingness to respond. It's not a general observation about life: too often when we seek we don't find (certainly if you're like me looking for my keys or mobile phone among the papers and things on my desk!) It's about how God delights to give.
God gives good gifts - especially the Holy Spirit - to those who ask.
Perhaps that's a good place to start.
© Gilmour Lilly February 2011
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