1 Corinthians 13. Dealing with people in Loving relationships

The first time we meet the person who wrote these words, he is a young man full of hatred.  Saul of Tarsus, a proud, well-read Jew fanatically opposed to the message of Jesus Christ; watching with cold-hearted loathing as others stone to death a Christian leader called Stephen. Then he's organising a systematic round-up of Christians, and on his way to Damascus with a list of suspects in his pocket, he meets with Jesus, and is ruined, blinded, helpless. He doesn't know friendship. He has simply "men who were traveling with him" (Acts 9:7, cf the other two records of the same story in Acts 22. 9 and 26.13). They lead him into Damascus, and shortly there is a knock at the door, and someone is shown into the room where Saul is praying, trying to figure out what to do with his life. This visitor is Ananias - one of the people in Saul's list. And Ananias says ""Brother Saul..." As soon as Saul encountered Jesus he had a brother. Ananias took him seriously, believed in him, and introduced him to the other believers in Damascus. Later, An older believer called Barnabas took Saul on a mission trip, again believing in him and encouraging him. A wee while later, another young Christian called Mark joined them; Mark had let them down, bottling out and running away. Saul, by now called Paul, wouldn't give a second chance to Mark, and as a result he and Barnabas fell out... but later that was put behind them and Mark became a great help to Paul.  Out of these experiences came what someone has called "one of the most strikingly original things Paul ever wrote," this wonderful meditation about love, which finds its place in 1 Corinthians.

Love is Essential. Verse 2.  "If I have not love, I am nothing. If I have not love, I gain nothing." What do we have, and what do we gain without love? NOTHING! It's more important than gifts like tongues or prophecy; it's more important than education or understanding; it's more important than traditionally "good things" like Christian giving. "I can turn everything I own into morsels of food for the hungry... but without love I gain nothing." Professor FF Bruce said "A Christian community can make shift somehow if the 'gifts' of chapter 12 be lacking: it will die if love is absent." The church can muddle through without gifts, without education and insight, and without having a programme to give to TEARFund; but without love we are nothing.

Love is Substantial. Paul sees love as something that you either have or do not have. As Bible teacher James Jordan says, "Love is stuff."  It is real, nourishing as a fish supper of haggis and neeps; refreshing as Irn Bru or ginger beer; solid and reliable as a mountain.  Paul says, "God has poured out his love into our hearts" (Rom 5. 5).  It's either there or it's not there.  And its stuff that lasts.  (Verses 8-13)  Sometimes we talk about love as something you can fall into - and fall back out of.  But real love is something that lasts. It is more than Sentiment.  You can have sentiment without love.  But you can't have love without some sentiment, some feeling.  And it is more than sacrifice. You can have sacrifice without love. Paul talks about giving everything away, surrendering your body to be burned but not having love. But you can't have love without sacrifice.  We'll learn a bit more about that later.

Love is behavioural. Paul describes fourteen qualities of "love"
1. Love is patient.  Longsuffering.
2Love is kind; makes itself useful to people.
3. Love does not envy - does not get into rivalry over who is best...
4. Love does not boast; (empty bragging)
5. Love is not arrogant  (puffed up, doesn't have a swelled head (Msg)
6. Love is not rude. (does not act in an unseemly way; "ain't misbehavin'")
7. Love does not insist on its own way; goes beyond simply "looking after number one" Isn't always "me first," (Msg)
8. Love is not irritable -  not easily angered. Not given to paroxysms of rage. Not easily stirred up. You know what it's like to be stirred up. When I get stirred up it takes tact and diplomacy to calm me down.    Doesn't fly off the handle, (Msg)
9. Love is not resentful; doesn't reckon up the wrong things people have done in order to pay them back.    Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (Msg)
10. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing. There is no room for gloating or scorn when people make mistakes. Doesn't revel when others grovel,   (Msg)  Instead, Love rejoices with the truth. Love is thrilled and affirming when someone gets something right.
11. Love bears all things, suffers in silence when it is wronged.
12. Love believes all things, always ready to believe the best
13. Love hopes all things, hopes against hope
14. Love endures all things. Never looks back, but keeps going to the end.  (Msg)
Now each of these is a matter of character. They define our behaviour. They are about how we deal with people. There can be a lot of  sacrifice in forgiving, letting things go, not getting angry, being patient and generous with people.

Love is relational. You can't do love in a vacuum. Love is about connectedness, about presence, communication, encounter, developing relationships.  Some of these qualities - like patience, hope and endurance - may be there when we are all alone.  The person who is stuck on a desert island or in solitary confinement for their faith, need patience, hope and endurance. But most of these qualities are only meaningful in situations with other people, and all of them can affect  how we deal with people. We can't have love without dealing with people.  We can't have love in isolation.  It is in relating with people, getting along in a community of people who are diverse and different, that love is put to the test and becomes the substantial, meaningful thing it is meant to be.  That's why love is eternal, goes on forever, even when we are with Jesus in glory: because we will be eternally part of a redeemed community. In accepting the Mission Statement that says, "Learning to show the Father's love," we accept that the essential nature of life together is relational. It is about dealing with people as people. It is not just about propping up the institution of the church.  Love is character in relationship. It is the character of Jesus in our relationship with each other and with our neighbours. It defines how we deal with each other. It defines how we deal with people who are not yet Christians.

Ouch. This is demanding. It is tough. If love is stuff, were does it come from? How can I get "Love" in my life?  How can I show the character of God?  How can this "love" infuse my dealing with people?

What are the keys? I believe there are three...
1. The story...  Paul's story was that he had gone from being highly principled but remote, distant, friendless, to being someone recognized as a "Brother".  I can't prove this but I believe that the day eh met Jesus on the road to Damascus was the first time in his life that Saul of Tarsus knew the reality of unconditional, accepting love, from his heavenly father and from a courageous brother called Ananias. That story of being loved, should surely draw love from us.  Jesus once had a woman pour out her expensive perfume at his feet. He responded (Luke 7:47) "her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." It's in our story of being loved that we are released to love.
2. The Spirit... Paul slips this love meditation right in the middle of his teaching in the work of the Spirit.  The last thing Paul mentions before launching into the love passage is "gracelets" (gifts); and the first thing he moves onto when he has finished the love passage is "Spirituals" (gifts) Love is a work of the spirit. Rom 5:5, which we quoted earlier, says, "God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God's gift to us."
3. Sensitising our souls. Paul says "Pursue love". (1 Cor 12. 1) Time for a Greek lesson. The Greek word pursue is dioko, from which we get diakonos meaning a "deacon", who is literally "someone who runs errands".   Chase after love. Serve it. Run errands for it. In other words you need to co-operate with the Spirit - not quench his gifts, and not quench either, the love he wants to bring. (1 Thess 5. 9) Allow your whole being to be sensitised to the promptings of love. And love will begin to grow within your heart and to affect how you deal with people.

© Gilmour Lilly November 2011